


she's come undone

by DaftWitch



Series: flowers and revelations [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Post-100 Year War (Avatar TV), Romance, hi waiter can I have one pining Zuko to start and for my main a Katara deep in denial? thanks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26532667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaftWitch/pseuds/DaftWitch
Summary: It was four years after the war and word began to spread that Fire Lord Zuko was dying. By the time Iroh’s letter reached Katara, begging for her help, she was already halfway there.Or in other words, the story of how Katara realised she had become a stranger to her own heart.(It’s a happy ending, I promise!)
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: flowers and revelations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939873
Comments: 16
Kudos: 231





	she's come undone

**Author's Note:**

> in the immortal words of Robbie Williams - if you got no love then you're with the wrong man
> 
> but seriously, I feel like I got possessed by this fic. i binged all of atla, blacked out and was 6,000 words into a zutara fic. hope you enjoy!
> 
> (yes I got the title from a vampire diaries episode don’t @ me)

_Some time shortly after Zuko’s coronation..._

Strong winds, chilled by the sea, whipped around Katara as she stood at the First Lord’s harbour of Caldera. A water tribe ship rocked beside her, where her father stood with Sokka - both thrilled to be going home. 

Katara couldn’t quite seem to muster the same excitement. Surely going home meant this was the end of everything? Guilt knotted in her stomach - why couldn’t she be happy? They’d won the war, they’d all survived and now they get to rebuild. But it was a bittersweet victory because now they had to leave each other.

When she had confided in Aang about this he had reassured her with confidence that this was not an ending, but the beginning of their new story.

“Think about it Katara, none of us got to really live our lives or even enjoy being young and now we do!” Aang assured her, “Listen, once we’re done at the Southern Water tribe we’ll take a vacation and travel the world properly.”

She had objected that the world needed him too much right now. He was the ultimate peacemaker and this peace was only fragile. But Aang had smiled broadly at her - that smile that always made her feel a little lighter - “Who says I can’t do both?”

At the time, it had soothed her but now, stood on the windy dock, she just felt sick. She watched as Suki, Ty Lee and the other Kyoshi warriors said their goodbyes to Zuko and Mai, watched as Toph punched Zuko in the arm playfully (grinning at his wince). 

The wind was too loud to make out what they were saying and she felt oddly distant from it all. Like they were acting out a play where they all knew their role, when to smile and when to go. Katara watched bitterly as Mai weaved her arm through Zuko’s. They looked so _right_ here. Or at least, Zuko did. It must be true what they say about royal blood because even with his scar he looked perfect as Fire Lord, as if he always had been. Katara wondered if Zuko could possibly feel anything like she did? Did he wake up this morning with a heavy heart, knowing his friends were leaving? Or was he like Aang, optimistically beginning his new life?

And then his gold eyes met hers and he was coming towards her. “You okay, Katara?” 

She shook her head, “It doesn’t feel right. Leaving. Separating.” 

“You know… you’re always welcome to stay. Or visit,” he added hastily, “whenever you want.”

 _Stay_.

Katara smiled. “I need to go home and help rebuild my tribe. But I-“ _I_ _wish I could. I wish I could keep us all here forever._ “I’ll definitely visit. The Fire Nation is a beautiful place.”

“Perhaps another visit to Ember Island next summer,” he suggested.

“Sounds lovely.” And it did, she imagined them all sat around a fire on the beach and the thought warmed her. It gave her the strength she needed to finally say- “Goodbye, Zuko. I’ll miss you.”

When their ship finally pulled away from the harbour, she watched him until his figure became so small it disappeared.

***

Whilst the year they had spent fighting the war had felt like a lifetime, the next four slipped through their fingers like grains of sand. 

Before Katara knew it she was on Kyoshi Island, the sun rising on her brother’s wedding day. 

Sokka and Suki had worked hard for their relationship, tackling long-distance and a post-war world. However, a few months ago they mutually decided it was time to start living life together. Sokka had painstakingly carved her an engagement necklace and Suki had retired her war-paint to join Sokka in the South Pole to start a combat school for non-benders.

Katara stood waist deep in the water, focusing on her breathing as she practiced her bending form. This was her favourite part of her day - waterbending brought her so much peace. 

“Good Morning, Master Katara.”

She wrinkled her nose at the formality, he knew she didn’t like it when he called her that. Nonetheless, when she turned to greet the familiar face, she was beaming. Stood at the shore was Zuko, dressed simply with his long hair tied in a low ponytail. (She ignored the way her heart skipped unevenly. How did he always get more handsome between every visit?)

It wasn’t a coincidence that she had gotten up earlier than usual to practice. 

“How long are you planning on growing that?” she teased, pointing at his ponytail.

He rolled his eyes. “You haven’t seen me for over a year and _that’s_ what you have to say to me?”

Katara shrugged, smiling playfully, “Well you suspiciously left out that you were growing your hair out in your letters, so it’s your own fault for springing this on me.”

“I’ll make sure to give you fair warning before I grow a beard then,” he said - and then, squaring up, he asked, “You ready?”

“You bet.”

They leapt into action at once, Zuko punching fire towards her as she twisted out the way, bending water around her and then shooting it towards him.

Sparring had been their unspoken tradition for whenever they saw each other since the first summer after the war when Zuko had turned up to Ember Island without Mai. 

He had insisted they had split amicably and he was fine but Katara hadn’t been convinced. There was something about the way he couldn’t meet quite their eyes when he had said it. She had slept restlessly that night, fretting that things were already falling apart and once the first tendrils of sunlight had begun peaking through the windows, she had given up and took a walk down to the private beach.

That’s when she had seen him, practicing his fire bending with a little more agitation that usual. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Katara had asked him.

He had paused, thought about it and then said, “I think I’d rather fight.”

And so they did. Afterwards, as they had sat sweating, Katara bending sea water to cool them, Zuko had finally explained how he had closed himself off to Mai without even meaning to and how she had grown restless. 

“I was putting the pressure of the world on my shoulders,” he had told Katara, “and I _wanted_ to let her in but I just… couldn’t. And I guess, it was only being with me which could make her stand royal life so when I pulled back, she didn’t have a reason to stay.”

There had been a moment of silence before Katara asked, “Do you want her back?”

Zuko shook his head and had said, “No. I miss her and I hate that I hurt her again but no. We both knew in the end it was dead.”

Since that trip Katara had made an increased effort to write Zuko letters, no matter where in the world she was. She had been worried at the thought of him alone and under such stress and was desperate to do anything to help. In turn, his letters had become a comfort to her as well, keeping her grounded as she travelled with Aang to distant provinces. 

When they’d received Sokka and Suki’s wedding invitation, Katara’s first thought had been of Zuko and seeing him again. She hadn’t thought much of this, only that he was her closest friend and it was natural that she’d be most excited to see him. Still, she didn’t voice this excitement out loud.

And now as they sparred on Kyoshi Island, Katara was filled with joy. Zuko, unlike Aang, didn’t hold back and they were so closely matched that it made for an excellent fight. It had been so long since she’d really be challenged and it exhilarated her. She was sure Zuko felt the same way as it was only when they were sparring that he smiled like that. Like the sun.

***

The wedding was beautiful. It warmed Katara’s heart to see her brother so happy, he deserved it more than anyone. As they exchanged their vows, her eyes started to well with tears and felt a hand reach out to squeeze hers. Through the blur of tears she saw Aang’s still-youthful grin and began to imagine if this was her and Aang’s wedding. She looked back to the front and tried to imagine herself in Suki’s place - would she be beaming just as brightly at Aang as Suki was to Sokka?

 _No_.

The truth of it seems to punch through her. 

_No_. 

Her head began to feel light. 

_No_. 

She was starting to feel claustrophobic.

 _No_.

She pressed her eyes closed.

 _No_. _No_. _No_. _No_. _No_.

It wasn’t the future she wanted. 

***

Katara was still reeling from her revelation well into the reception. Everyone else laughed and danced but she felt sick. It was so clear to her now. Every time she looked at Aang, her stomach knotted guiltily. She didn’t want to be with him, not anymore, not like this. What was wrong with her? Something must be wrong with her because Aang was perfect. Her life with Aang was _perfect…_ Right? Who could do better than the Avatar?

She couldn’t stomach it anymore, she needed to be by the water. Katara slipped through the crowd, disappearing out the door - not noticing the golden pair of eyes following her.

She’d only made it halfway to the moonlit water when Zuko called out her name, stopping her in her tracks. When she turned and saw him drawer nearer it felt like returning to solid ground. “Zuko…,” she breathed in relief. How had he known that she wanted to speak to him about this more than anyone else?

“Katara, what’s wrong?” he asked, concern written all over his face.

Instead of answering she asked him in return, “When you and Mai broke up, how did you know it was the right thing to do?”

He faltered for a moment. “We weren’t happy.”

Katara frowned. “And that was enough?”

Zuko mimicked her expression, reaching across to rest his hand on her shoulder, rubbing his thumb over the bare skin there and raising goosebumps. “What else is there to it? If you’re not happy, you have to leave and find what will make you happy.” Zuko reached up with his other hand to brush away a tear Katara hadn’t realised had fallen. “Katara, please tell me what’s happened?”

She said nothing for a moment. “I realised I’m not happy,” she said quietly, her voice shaking.

Zuko looked pained for a moment but it turned to resolve as he pulled her in for a firm hug. “You’ll be okay, Katara. I promise,” he whispered in her ear. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back tightly. He smelt faintly of the sea and smoke, like he always did. 

But his words had done little to assuage her guilt. Again, she found herself asking - _‘What is wrong with me?_ ’ 

***

After that, her life seems to become very grey. Though some of that grey was due to the snow as she had returned home to the Southern Water Tribe after the wedding - after an embarrassingly public break-up with Aang. (She had wanted to keep it quiet for awhile but those plans unravelled rather quickly.)

Katara focussed her energy at the waterbending school as a master of combat and healing. Whilst Pakku had made great strides in building the school, there still weren't many waterbenders in the tribe, despite those who had immigrated from the North Pole. There was no one who could match her (despite Pakku who getting too old to regularly fight her).

She thought there would be solace at coming back home after the break-up but the tribe had changed so much whilst she had been travelling with Aang that it didn’t quite feel like home anymore. It made her regret more than ever that she hadn’t been around much in the past four years. But Aang had been needed elsewhere to help keep the peace and where Aang went, she had followed.

When Sokka and Suki had returned home from their honeymoon, it had stirred excitement in Katara as they regaled her with tales of warmer places and exotic fruits. It only dimly reminded her of her life with Aang and it only slightly made the regret that was stewing within her simmer harder. 

Unlike her, Sokka and Suki had a real life in the South Pole. Her brother was in line to be the next chief and Suki was swamped with her school. They both returned home in the evening exhausted but fulfilled with their day’s work. Katara hated that all she seems to know how to do these days was feel jealous. It was one of her worst traits and it made her resent herself. It wasn’t their fault that Katara didn’t know what she wanted from life.

All in all, the only thing which brought a true smile to her face was her letters from Zuko. After her break-up, he’d become an even more attentive letter writer in a not-so-subtle attempt at making sure she was okay. His letters took her away from her monotonous life to his relentlessly busy one. His complaints of how _everything_ seemed to be political made her laugh as well as make her appreciate even more the time he made in his day to write to her.

It was a particularly sunny day, five months after her break-up with Aang that a messenger hawk landed where she was practicing her waterbending. Eagerly she detached the letter and read.

_Dear Katara,_

_I hope this letter, as always, finds you well. The trees have begun to blossom around the palace as spring draws near. It’s beautiful. Uncle has made his usual visit to see them as Ba Sing Se doesn’t quite live up to home. I hope one day I can convince you to abandon your waterbenders for a while to come see it. Maybe next year?_

_With Uncle’s arrival I’ve taken some time away from my duties as Fire Lord and I’m irritatingly restless. All this time I’ve been complaining to you about wanting a moment to relax and now I’m itching to get back to work. All I can think about is what my councillors will be doing now that their liberal Fire Lord is not in the room. Uncle has always said I’m not very good at relaxing. Even though it’s only spring, I can’t wait for warmer summer days._

_Which reminds me - I know we were all too busy last year to go (and we had the wedding shortly after anyway) but I was wondering if you’d like to visit Ember Island with me this summer? Feel free to invite whoever you want but if you want to keep it a quiet affair (AKA Avatar-less) then just say the word and it will be just you and me._

_All the best,_

_Zuko_

Katara read and re-read the letter, her smile broadening as she imagined sharing a pot of tea under the blossoms with Zuko and Iroh. And she couldn’t help but run her finger over the words “ _just you and me_.” Her heart thumped unevenly. A trip to Ember Island with just Zuko would be… intimate. 

“What are you grinning about, Katara?” her grandmother asked, lurching Katara back into the real world.

Katara tried to tame her smile as she replied, “Just a letter from Zuko. He’s invited me to stay with him at Ember Island this summer.”

Kanna raised her eyebrows, “Oh? Is that so? Very romantic.”

She blushed deeply, turning into the sun so her grandmother wouldn’t see. “C’mon Gran-Gran, you know it’s not like that. I just broke up with Aang. Zuko’s just trying to be considerate.”

Smirking, Kanna replied, “Considerate? Is that what we’re calling it these days? And anyway, it’s been almost half a year since your break-up.”

“Well, like I said - it’s not like that with Zuko. We don’t… he doesn’t… you know,” she trailed off pathetically.

Kanna smiled knowingly at her granddaughter, “I wonder, Katara, that if by the time the war ended, you’d already so thoroughly convinced yourself that you were meant to be with Aang that you’ve never even allowed yourself to think of anyone else. That you’re such a great compartmentaliser that you wouldn’t even know if you loved someone else.”

Katara spluttered for a moment before managing to say, “Don’t be ridiculous Gran-Gran! I do not _love_ Zuko. He’s- It’s! He’s _Zuko_!”

But her grandmother was already walking away, waving over her shoulder as she said, “Whatever you say, Katara.”

***

Katara had written back immediately, that of course she would love to visit and that he was very much correct in thinking she wanted an Avatar-less vacation. 

She then spent the next few days in a haze. Unwittingly imagining what the summer held for her - the sun setting at Ember Island, Zuko’s smile, lazy sun and the smell of salt in her clothes.

But then a week passed, and then another. And no reply from Zuko. Hurt mingled with concern - had Zuko not really wanted a vacation alone and had only offered it out of politeness? Or had something happened in the Fire Nation - like another militant group - which requires Zuko’s full attention? 

Katara began hanging around the docks, hoping to hear a whisper of news but as more time passed she feared that nothing was wrong but that it was her.

That was until she heard it. 

“Hey, did you hear about that young Fire Lord? People are saying over in the Earth Kingdom that he’s sick or something. Reckon he’s dying.”

***

By the time Iroh’s letter reached her, imploring her to come and try to heal his nephew, Katara was already halfway there (having begged her father for a ship to take her to Zuko).

She clutched the letter tightly in her hand, reading it for the fifth time.

_Dearest Katara,_

_I do not know if word has reached you yet but there is something very wrong with Zuko. He fainted a few weeks back and has only seemed to have gotten worse. Now he cannot even get out of bed. The physicians fear it is his heart - that it never fully healed from his sister’s attack. They believe he is dying._

_I’m sorry that you must find out this way but please come to us in the capital, at the royal palace. I’m afraid only a master waterbender can save my nephew._

_Please hurry._

_My love,_

_Iroh_

Every time she read it, she was reduced to tears. But yet she couldn’t help but read and re-read, trying to extract every single detail so that when she arrived she would be ready. 

She felt sicker and sicker as their ship pulled towards the docks - until she couldn’t take it anymore so she jumped and waterbent her way to land where Fire Nation officials were ready to hurry her into the palace.

They led her through vacuous hallways until Katara was dizzy with nerves, desperate to lay eyes on Zuko. Until finally - “He’s through here, Master Katara.”

She didn’t need to be told twice, she burst into the room and the sight of his frail, pale face nearly made her collapse with grief.

“Katara,” he rasped, a smile ghosting across his lips as she sat down in the empty chair beside his bed. She took his hand in hers and squeezed gently - it nearly broke her at how weak his grip was.

“Well can you heal him or what?” a voice drawled from across the room.

Katara jumped and saw that Mai was sat near the far wall. “I’m not sure yet, I need to have a look.”

A servant from behind Katara leapt forward with a large bowl of water and she smiled weakly with gratitude and took it with trembling hands. Turning to Zuko, she pushed aside his blankets so that the still-pink scar on his chest was exposed. She then drew the water around her hands until it glowed blue, shushing him gently as his hissed when her cold hands touched his skin. 

Katara closed her eyes and focused hard, trying to feel through her waterbending his heart. It was not ideal conditions, it was late afternoon and tonight was a new moon. She needed more than that. She inhaled deeply, trying to muster all the energy she had. Then she felt it, the wound she had half-healed so many years ago. The thump of his heart was sickeningly abnormal. She could feel how tired it was of trying to keep a body alive whilst it itself was barely functioning. A quick fix wouldn’t be enough this time, Zuko needed more. 

“I can’t heal him like this,” she told Mai.

Zuko had reached up to place his hand across her forearm - a silent reassurance.

Mai sniffed. “What do you need?” She was keeping her tone very even but Katara could sense the desperate optimism in her voice. So Katara had been their last resort? What else had they tried before her?

Zuko was rubbing her arm with his thumb, his eyes watching her. She met his gaze and felt herself melt at his mercy. She would do anything to keep him alive.

Katara steeled herself, trying to focus. “My best chance is the full moon. And I’ll need Spirit Water from the Northern Water Tribe. I’ll write to Aang to get it. Sokka wrote to me recently saying he was near the area and Appa is the fastest mode of travel there is.”

Just then, Zuko began to shiver. Katara’s eyes widened, Zuko was never cold and she had never once seen him shiver. Mai was by the bed now, pulling his blankets up to his chin and meeting Katara’s horrified expression with a look that said, _‘Yeah, it really is that bad_.’

***

Once she had written to Aang, she hurried back to Zuko’s room, petrified that in the time she was gone he might have slipped away. When she returned she saw that Iroh had taken her abandoned chair.

He smiled at her. “Ah, Master Katara. Thank you so much for coming. Mai has told me of your plans! I’m only sorry I could not greet you upon arrival, I have taken over Zuko’s duties whilst he has been unwell.”

Katara glanced at Zuko’s now-sleeping form. Unwell was one word for it.

“Of course. I came as soon as I heard,” she replied. “I just hope Aang arrives in time for the full moon.” She looked back at Zuko. “I hope…” ... _he survives that long_.

Iroh, as if reading her mind, said lowly, “My nephew is strong. He will hold out. Especially now that you are here.”

Katara turned to Iroh, confused. What did he mean by that?

“Katara, have my chair,” Mai said suddenly, rising to her feet.

“Oh no I couldn’t-“

“Well I’m leaving anyway so stand there if you want,” she replied, stalking out of the room.

Gingerly, trying not to wake Zuko, Katara took Mai’s chair and brought it over to the right side of the bed, sitting opposite to Iroh. A silence fell as Katara scanned Zuko’s sleeping face, remembering how full of life he had looked when she had seen him last at Kyoshi. Had his heart been bothering him then? Had he been hiding it from them or had it just as much surprised him?

She was shaking with sobs before she even realised it was coming on and Iroh had crossed the room to wrap her in his arms and hold her, stroking her hair as she cried. 

_‘Please,’_ she thought, ‘ _please don’t take him from me. I need him. Please give me the strength to heal him._ ’

***

Katara barely moved from her spot by his bed, not wanting to miss a single moment he was awake and not wanting to risk his heart failing without her there. She had been so stubborn about this that a second bed had been brought into the room so that she could rest in the times Mai or Iroh insisted they could watch him without her. 

She lived for the moments he would blink his eyes open and smile at her, always just uttering her name with such soft sweetness it made her breath hitch. 

He insisted on knowing every detail of her life since her last letter, apologised profusely for not having written back to her (which she pointed out he had a pretty good excuse for) and point blank refused to let her feed him.

“Katara I’m not a child,” he had complained as she waterbended the stew Iroh had brought in towards him.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Katara had retorted, “you can barely lift your head let alone a bowl of stew.”

But most of the time he dozed, and she sat and listened to his shallow breathing until he woke again. 

“Are people in love always this unbearable?” Mai had asked one evening after Katara had unconsciously brushed some hair from Zuko’s sleeping face. 

She has frozen, her fingers still hovering over his forehead. “Zuko and I aren’t-“

“Yeah, whatever,” Mai had said, leaving the room and Katara was reminded of her grandmother’s words, _‘Whatever you say, Katara_.’

***

Katara spent most of her time whilst Zuko slept (which was increasingly more and more) by writing to Sokka, Suki and Toph. They couldn’t come and see Zuko as Iroh did not want to confirm the rumours of his illness by having his fellow war heroes all travel to him. The Fire Nation was still in a fragile state and they could not afford to make the new status-quo look weak.

Katara had been halfway through writing a letter to Suki when Zuko began to cough. At once she reached for him, putting extra pillows under him and helping him sit upright, taking hold of his hand until the coughing stopped. 

Zuko smiled weakly at her and she clasped her free hand over their entwined ones. Aang was still not here with the Spirit Water and the full moon was two nights away. Zuko was looking weaker and greyer and Katara found herself unable to sleep from fear. They could not afford to wait another moon cycle.

“Do you remember,” he began, his voice croaky, “two summers ago at Ember Island when Aang suggested we had a sand castle competition and we all took it far too seriously?”

Katara smiled, “I do. Toph didn’t think we’d notice her bending the sand-“

“Well you also cheated with bending.”

“Did I? I don’t remember,” she said with a devious smirk.

Zuko laughed at the memory, “Suki and I were _so_ mad because we’d done it all by hand. I’d even picked out the perfect seashells to decorate it with.”

“I really was concerned you were going to strangle Toph after she ‘accidentally’ walked through yours.” Katara had begun to laugh, remembering the way Toph had feigned ignorance, _‘I’m blind, Sparky! It’s not my fault! Anyway, we all know I’m the winner so what’s it matter?_ ’ But Katara had seen the earthbender giggle as Zuko had stormed off.

“I promise you,” Zuko said in between laughs and coughs, “I’ll get her back for that some day.” But the laughter seems to get too much as a fresh coughing fit wracked his body.

Katara rubbed his back as he heaved with it, bending some water from his cup to him. He gave her a silent glower of _‘I’m not baby_ ’ but the coughing had robbed him of breath so he couldn’t protest.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” she told him as the coughs died away again. “Trying to distract me from my worrying.” Katara shook her head. “It should be me comforting _you_ , not the other way round.”

Zuko smiled so affectionately that it momentarily brought quiet to her fretting heart. “You bring me plenty of comfrt just by being here.”

Katara blushed, not quite knowing how to respond, only knowing that it made her feel warm.

“Speaking of peace of mind,” Zuko said, “Aang should be here soon. Are you going to be okay?”

Katara chewed her lip for a moment before saying, “I don’t know. Whenever I even think about him I just feel sick with guilt and regret.”

“Regret?” he asked sharply.

She shrugged. “I worry I didn’t really give us a fighting chance. I never told him I was unhappy, I just left. Just makes me wonder…”

“If you made the wrong decision,” Zuko finished for her. His voice was quiet now. “So you still love him?” 

“I… I don’t think so. I just want to be happy Zuko,” she said wearily, “I miss it. And I thought leaving him would help me but I’m even more miserable than before. So now I worry that… I don’t know, that he was my only chance at love.”

“Being lonely is not a reason to go back to someone,” Zuko reasoned, “And I promise you, Aang is not the only man who's ever going to love you.”

Katara looked down. Zuko was playing with her fingers, lacing them through his and rubbing his thumb against hers. It made a lump form in her throat. “So… Mai seems worried about you,” she murmured, “Iroh told me she’d already been here awhile before you got sick.” 

It was a thinly veiled attempt at prying. Katara had tried to keep her tone neutral but she must have let something else into her voice because when she looked up at him, he was watching her, an odd look in his eyes. 

“Katara,” he said, his voice suddenly strangled, “you must know by now that I…”

“The Avatar is here, my lord!” a servant announced, bursting into the room, Aang swiftly following. 

“Thank the Spirits you’re here, you nearly missed the full moon,” Katara said, jumping up.

“I tried to get here as fast as I could but Appa needed to rest,” Aang replied coolly, grabbing a vial of Spirit Water that had been hanging around his neck and handing it to Katara without looking at her. “They weren’t too happy to give me it but I convinced them.”

Katara put it around her neck as Zuko grumbled, “I’ll be sure to remember that next time I visit.”

“The Northern Water Tribe can be a bit stiff,” Katara acknowledged, “but they mean well. Can’t be giving out magic water to anyone, I suppose.”

She clutched the vial in her hand like a lifeline, they were nearly there. They only had to last two more days. 

Aang had sat himself down on Zuko’s other side. “How are you doing Sifu Hotman?”

Zuko managed a shrug, “I’ve been better.”

“Well I’ll stick around until you’re back on your feet,” Aang assured him, “and then I want a showdown with my firebending master! It’s been too long!” Aang beamed at Zuko and Katara’s heart panged. How long would it be until he was so carefree with her again?

***

It was the day of the full-moon that Zuko developed a fever. At first, Katara had taken his increased temperature as a good sign but when beads of sweat began to form on his forehead, she realised just how wrong she’d been. 

By midday he was delirious, barely able to keep his eyes open for longer than a minute before being pulled back into restless unconsciousness. Mai spent the day desperately trying to keep him hydrated whilst Katara tried to fight his fever by laying a wet cloth on his forehead, freezing the water every time it melted. Iroh and Aang were dealing with politics and did not arrive at Zuko’s bedside until the evening. 

Katara was almost hysterical by the time the moon began to rise. Zuko’s breath was so weak she had to keep checking his pulse to be sure he was still there. But when she felt the power of Yue wash over her - she knew it was time. 

With trembling hands she uncorked the Spirit Water, summoning all of her strength and that of the moon’s as she pressed her palms over Zuko’s heart. The combined power was nearly overwhelming but Katara inhaled deeply and focussed the energy on the weak thrum of Zuko’s dying heart.

And then she prayed.

And then his heart thudded heavily.

Zuko coughed, blinking his eyes open and tears welled in Katara’s eyes. She heard Iroh clap his hands in thanks whilst Mai and Aang both exhaled with relief.

“Did you heal me properly this time?” Zuko croaked. Katara, too awash with relief to provide any sort of retort, just laughed (slightly wildly) and buried her head in his chest, hiding her tears of joy.

She felt his hand rest on her head, his fingers running through her hair, stroking her soothingly as she began to really cry. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or how every moment since she had left the South Pole she had been swallowing down an all-consuming panic, but the only thing her body seemed to know to do with her overwhelming relief was to sob. 

When Katara finally swallowed the last of her tears, she lifted her head again. Zuko’s mouth was curved into a soft smile, his eyes so much brighter than they had been since she’d arrived. Embarrassed, Katara retracted from him, allowing Iroh to hug his nephew tight, murmuring something to him that she couldn’t quite hear.

Aang also bounded over to Zuko, grinning widely but Mai hung back. She caught Katara’s eye, gave her a tight smile and then left the room. 

“We will give you some peace now, nephew,” Iroh said, “Rest. And tomorrow I will get the cooks to prepare you a feast!” Before Zuko could even protest, Iroh interrupted. “Rest and you can argue with me in the morning.”

When Katara stood up to leave, Zuko’s hand caught her wrist. She turned to him, not seeing how Aang watched them as he left with Iroh.

“Stay.” He was hiding it well but there was a desperation in his eyes as if being parted from her (or more realistically, being left alone) would physically pain him.

Zuko had faced enough pain for a lifetime, so Katara complied. Allowing him to guide her into the bed with him and nestling into his waiting arms. It had been so long since she had been held like this and it reminded her painfully of how lonely she’d been. 

They didn’t speak, both too exhausted for that. Instead, they listened to each other’s breathing until they tumbled off the ledge of a deep sleep - neither of them alert enough to really consider the intimacy of it all. 

***

It was a cool spring morning when Katara watched Zuko and Aang spar. Zuko’s recovery had been startlingly fast and he was back to his usual head-strong self. It had reminded Katara of how much of a survivor he was.

Zuko shouted a critique of Aang’s form as they trained and it was like watching a memory. The past washed over her - visions of being on the run when Aang was still a child and Zuko’s hair had been short and shaggy. 

She barely noticed when Iroh had settled beside her. “Tea?” he asked, offering her a cup.

Katara smiled gratefully. “Thanks.”

There was a short silence and then Iroh commented, “It’s nice to see you kids together again. Zuko has been far too lonely lately. And I sense so have you and the Avatar.”

“It’s my fault if Aang feels lonely,” she grumbled, absentmindedly blowing on her tea before taking a sip.

“He will forgive you, Katara,” Iroh assured her, “You did the right thing by both of you. It would have been far crueler to have stayed and pretended to love him, then he really would have been alone.”

“I still wish I could make it better, but he won’t even look at me.”

“He’ll let you know when he’s ready. Just be patient,” he told her.

Katara watched as Aang pushed a coil of fire towards his opponent. Zuko leapt, using his firebending to propel him through the air, arcing backwards as it rolled underneath him. It was like watching a dance.

“Will you be returning to Ba Sing Se now that Zuko has recovered?” Katara asked.

He nodded, “Soon. I’ve been gone from my tea shop far too long. I dread to think the havoc my assistants have reaped in my absence. None of them quite know how to make a pot of tea like me.”

Katara laughed, “Not even Zuko can brew tea like you.”

Iroh smiled warmly at her and asked, “And what will you do now, Master Katara? Back to your tribe?”

“I’m… I’m not sure,” she faltered, “I’m not sure what my path is anymore.” 

She looked down, watching the tendrils of steam rise from her tea. “Do _you_ know what my destiny is?” Katara asked him, cringing at the childlike tone in her voice. Like a kid, desperate for a parent’s guidance.

Iroh placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. “I think our destiny is what we make of it. I think we find where our heart sings and we chase that music. I know you feel lost right now, Katara but start listening to your heart again and you’ll find your way.”

Zuko looked up at her. Her breath hitched.

***

It was later that day that Katara received a letter from her brother telling her that Suki was pregnant. Katara squealed with delight and set off rushing through the palace, trying to find Zuko to tell him the good news. 

She turned around the corner and saw a familiar face. “Mai!” Katara cried, “I’ve got good news, I- Wait. Are you leaving?” She had spotted the luggage dotted around and the bag slung over Mai’s shoulders.

“Yeah,” Mai sighed, “and about time. I was only meant to be here for a week or so to help with my father’s pathetic attempt to curry enough favour with these stupid politicians to get back into a more public role with the Fire Nation.”

“Did it work?”

She shook her head. “Nah. Zuko tried his best to help but my family had become the face of the Earth Kingdom occupation so we’re poison to everything Zuko is trying to build now. I tried to tell him but my father doesn’t really listen to me.”

“Sorry it didn’t work out.”

Mai gave an unbothered shrug. “Didn’t really matter to me. I only came along to watch Dad prove me right. Didn’t expect I’d be here this long but then Zuko got sick. And no matter what happened between us, he’s still one of my oldest friends so I wasn’t just about to abandon him on his deathbed.” She gave Katara a scrutinising look. “What about you? You heading back home too?”

Katara wished people would stop asking her that. “I don’t know… I guess so.”

Mai tilted her head. “Zuko wouldn’t mind if you stayed longer.” Katara didn’t know why but her cheeks burned at this. “Anyway,” Mai continued, “what was this big news then?”

“Oh yeah! I’m going to be an aunt! Sokka and Suki are having a baby!” Katara exclaimed.

“That’s great, Katara,” Mai told her, smiling. 

“Do you know where Zuko is? I wanted to tell him.”

“Not sure, he’s probably off doing Fire Lord stuff. I saw Aang out in the training grounds if you want to tell him…?” Mai hinted.

Katara grimaced. “Not sure Aang wants to see me.”

“He’d want to hear the news,” Mai insisted. And when Katara still did not look convinced, she added, “Could be a good ice breaker.”

So Katara headed towards the training grounds, nerves twisting inside her and just as Mai had said, there was Aang, practicing some earthbending.

“Aang!” she called out, wincing at the shake in her voice.

He turned to her, looking apprehensive. “What?”

She drew nearer. “I got a letter from Sokka and thought you’d like to know that they found out Suki’s pregnant.”

Aang looked surprised at first but then managed a grin. “That’s great news, Katara. They must be so excited. _You_ must be so excited.”

“I am!” She hesitated. “Look, Aang. I just wanted to-“

“I don’t want to talk about it, Katara,” he interrupted, suddenly cold again.

“So you just want to be like this forever?” she demanded, “Barely able to speak to each other?” 

When he made no response, she continued angrily. “Don’t you want things to go back to normal, Aang? I… I miss you.”

“You broke my heart, Katara. There is no ‘going back to normal,'” he snapped, stomping off and leaving her alone. 

***

Zuko found her later sitting in the gardens, crossed-legged on the grass, watching a turtleduck peck around for food.

“Mai told me you were looking for me,” he said, sitting down beside her.

Katara picked at the grass. “Sokka and Suki are having a baby.”

“You don’t exactly seem excited.”

“I _am_ excited,” she said sulkily.

She could feel Zuko watching her. “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to continue to attack the grass?”

Katara huffed a sigh. “I went to tell Aang the news and then I tried to speak to him about the breakup and… it didn’t go well. He refused to even discuss it and then stormed off.” She sniffled. “I’ve never known Aang to hate me or not want to talk to me. I know I hurt him and I shouldn’t expect anything from him but I couldn’t stand it if we could never be friends again.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Zuko reassured her, “He just needs time.”

She sighed. “That’s what Iroh said.”

“It’s always best to take Uncle’s advice.”

A silence fell between them as Katara continued to vent her feelings by pulling up grass. She was grateful for how patient Zuko was being, always knowing what to say. No one knew her quite like Zuko did.

It was strange that he had become this to her. They’d been a strong team during the war but it had been afterwards that he had become indispensable to her - even though they only saw each other a handful of times a year (and sometimes less than that).

One year, when they had met at Iroh’s tea shop in Ba Sing Se, he had confessed to her that her friendship had meant the world to him - that someone like her could care so much for someone like him who had made so many mistakes. But he wasn’t that angry sixteen-year-old anymore. He had proven that time and time again and over the years he had become like home to her. A constant she could always depend on. 

But there was something different about Zuko now compared to when she saw him at the wedding and all the times before. He was more teasing than before and his hands couldn’t seem to resist finding hers. She hadn’t minded, quite the opposite. It felt right, like it had always been this way. 

It was his eyes, however, that could make any cool day burning hot. More and more she caught him staring at her and each time it made her shiver. Had she never noticed it before? Or had something changed which meant he couldn’t help himself?

This thought reminded her of how oddly he had looked at her when she had asked about Mai. Like he was seeing a trick of the light and couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

Then Katara asked a question - one which had been in the back of her mind for awhile. One which she thought might be dangerous. “The other day, you were so sure that Aang wouldn’t be the last person to ever love me. Why?”

Zuko furrowed his brow, suddenly looking irritated. “I was barely conscious when I said that.”

“...So you didn’t mean it.”

“No!” he exclaimed, “I did! I just…” Zuko trailed off, looking down as he took a moment to weigh his next words until he finally sighed and told her, “I was sure because I’ve loved you for about three years now.”

Her heart thudded painfully.

Her voice trembled when she asked, “How did you know?”

Zuko wrenched his gaze towards her, giving her that stare that always made her feel like she was melting. “Uncle made me realise,” he answered. “I uh- I was pretty oblivious to it but you know Uncle - knows me before I know myself. And I guess the final straw for him was when, well…” Zuko looked down again, a blush rising on his cheeks. “You remember when you were having a really hard time sleeping a few years ago? You kept having nightmares about the war?”

“I remember.”

“Well, some of our botanists had found a new species of flower which had evolved to survive life on a semi-active volcano. For me, they symbolised strength and resilience and-“ Zuko’s blush deepened, “it reminded me of you. So I thought it would be a nice gesture, whilst you were struggling, to, uhm, name them after you.”

“You named a flower after me?” she breathed. 

“Well, uh, no. Uncle stopped me before I could propose it. He said it would be inappropriate of me to name a flower after the Avatar’s girlfriend.” Zuko smiled weakly. “At first I didn’t know what he meant, I was so convinced that what I felt for you was platonic but Uncle made me see it in the end.”

He paused. She didn’t push him even though she was desperate for him to go on.

“I’d nursed a crush on you for a while when we were younger. I thought it had gone away but I guess it just turned into something more without me even realising. Loving you became part of who I am so I didn’t even see it for what it was. Or… uhm, at least that’s what Uncle had said,” Zuko stammered, seeming to catch himself, embarrassed at his own candid honesty.

Katara stared at him, taking in his reddened cheeks, his hands nervously playing with a thread on his clothing and she marvelled at him. This man who would wear his heart on his sleeve for her. This man who had loved her for all these years without her knowing. This man who had jumped in front of lighting to save her. 

Something seemed to shake loose within her.

Zuko was staring at her again, his gaze questioning as he tried to decipher her silent musings. A strand of hair had come loose from his high bun, it swayed gently in the breeze. His jaw clenched and Katara swallowed hard. 

And then, without even really meaning to, her gaze dropped to his mouth. 

It had only been a quick glance but when she returned to his eyes, there was something else in them entirely - a look which made goosebumps erupt over her skin. Zuko’s eyes flitted down to her mouth and she breathed in sharply. 

They seemed to be pulled to each other like gravity, falling short just as they were a breath apart. Katara found herself mute. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, that might break the all consuming silence but instead she found herself looking at his lips again.

His mouth was so close it was almost painful and she could tell from his uneven breathing that he was suffering too. She wanted to scream at him to just kiss her so they could be released from this frozen state.

Then, he dipped his head and broke the spell. When his lips finally pressed against hers, she suddenly realised just how much she underestimated what one kiss could do. 

It was like the whole world turned upside down. Like being swept up in an ocean’s wave. Her head spun because this was _Zuko_. Her closest friend, who knew her better than anyone. Her dearest friend, who was now gripping her waist, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. Zuko, who had once sat outside her tent all night to wait to speak to her - she had hugged him for the first time after that and now as she weaved her arms around his neck, she once again revelled at the feeling of his body against hers. 

How had she been so blind to this? There was nothing platonic about how his mouth on hers was making her heart race and her skin burn.

When they parted, their breathing was shallow and immediately panic ripped its way through Katara. What was she doing? She had already ruined her friendship with Aang, she couldn’t risk losing Zuko too. 

He must have sensed the change within her, because his eyes, which had been hazy and unfocused, now sharpened as he examined her. “Did you not want that?” he asked breathlessly (the sound of his voice sent tingles down her spine).

Katara bit her lip, pulling away from him and standing up. When he followed, his gaze panicked, she held out of her hand, stopping him. She hoped his eyes found the apology in hers. “I can’t risk losing you too. You’re too important to me.”

If Zuko had thought she was being a coward, he didn’t say. He didn’t say anything at all. He just let her walk away, his arms hanging limply by his side where before they’d been holding her. 

***

Katara was a mess. She had slept fittfully as Zuko had haunted her every dream. In one, he’d brought her back to his bedroom and had hungrily undressed her and in another he had sworn he would never speak to her again. Eventually she had given up on sleep altogether.

She had tried to meditate but when she closed her eyes, the memory of the kiss burned through her. So that was given up too. Instead, she roamed the palace hallways aimlessly, thinking.

Kissing Zuko had felt like opening up a dam that she had kept tightly secure for so long that she hadn’t even known there was danger of flooding. But now she was drowning, barely able to make out what it all meant.

She thought of being with him in Ba Sing Se in the crystal tunnels so many years ago. It was the first time she had looked at Zuko and really _seen_ him. She remembered vividly how, for just a moment, she could have kissed him. But then he had betrayed her and Katara had buried those feelings deep inside her. Had that been the beginning of the dam? All this time, had she just been continuing to guard her heart without even knowing it? She thought jealously of Zuko’s confidence in his feelings for her. It wasn’t fair, he’d had three years to silently iron it all out. It was bewildering suddenly finding out your heart had become a stranger to you.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Aang calling her name as he bounded up to her. “Great,” he said, “I’ve been wanting to speak to you.”

“Mhmm,” she answered, feeling unfocused. Was it morning already?

“I’ve been thinking about what you said to me yesterday and you’re right. I do want things to go back to normal.”

Maybe it wasn’t all ruined then. 

“I’d love that,” she breathed.

Aang sighed with relief. “I don’t have any more Avatar stuff to do here in the capital so I’m leaving tomorrow. How about we go together and start getting back on track?”

Katara felt a little woozy now. “Aang, I’m not sure you-“

“I know we hit a rough patch,” he said, breezing over her objection, “and I _was_ really hurt. But you’re my forever girl and I don’t want to give up on us either.”

Katara spluttered, “No, no, Aang! That’s not what I meant, I don’t want to be with you again! I want to be with-!“ She stopped herself.

_I want to be with him._

Aang stared at her, confused and angry. “But you said you’d missed me! I thought this is what you wanted! For things to go back to normal!”

But she wasn’t listening. Katara thought of Zuko’s eyes, the feeling of his hand holding hers, the way he had kissed her and how she desperately wanted to kiss him again.

“Katara,” Aang continued, “it’s not too late for us. We can work at this, I just know we can get back to how it was.”

She thought of flying on Appa, jumping down waterfalls with Aang and then again of Zuko’s eyes, his hands, his mouth. Her heart was finally unraveling. 

“I know you were unhappy,” Aang continued, “but it’s been worse being apart! You and I, we’re just meant to be! The Spirits brought us together when you found me in the ice!”

‘ _I wonder, Katara, that if by the time the war ended, you’d already so thoroughly convinced yourself that you were meant to be with Aang that you’ve never even allowed yourself to think of anyone else_.’

“Please Katara, I love you.”

 _‘That you’re such a great compartmentaliser that you wouldn’t even know if you loved someone else_.’

She had finally come undone.

***

Katara was running. She needed to get to him otherwise she feared she might explode. It took her awhile but finally she found him in the library, staring out of a window to the turtleduck pond.

“Zuko!” she panted, accidentally slamming the door behind her. She was a mess of nerves and adrenaline.

He didn’t turn. “Hello Katara.” He sounded unusually cool.

“Zuko,” she repeated, gentler this time, as she approached him cautiously, “I need to tell you something.” 

She saw his right hand flex. “I know already.” His tone was unnervingly emotionless. “Aang came to me before and asked for my advice about…” He seemed to struggle, as if speaking was painful. “About asking for you back. It seems he was right to be so optimistic.”

“That’s not what I-“

“Aang had said that he was pretty sure you wanted to get back together and I didn’t want to believe him… but I… I guess I was wrong.”

“Zuko, listen-!“

“I won’t get in the way if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No!” Katara shouted, “For goodness sake, Zuko just look at me!”

He turned with a venom, stalking towards her. “What, Katara? What do you want from me?” he snapped, his patience finally giving out. 

“Will you just let me say what I wanted to say?” she demanded.

Zuko looked momentarily furious, but after a moment he sighed and said with heavy resignation, “Fine. What did you want to tell me?”

“That I love you.” 

Maybe it was the matter-in-fact way she had said it that meant he didn’t seem to register it at first. But after a moment his eyes widened. “You… You- You what?” Zuko stammered.

Katara smiled affectionately, trying to mask the nerves she was feeling. She moved towards him and placed her hand on his cheek. Her fingertips tracing his scar. She desperately hoped he would forgive her. “I said that I love you. That I’ve probably loved you for much longer than I realised. I’m not going anywhere, I’m staying here with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to-“

When he surged forward, she breathed him in. This kiss was different from their last - whilst their first had been water, this one was fire and she happily melted into him. Zuko’s right hand tangled in her hair, cradling her head, whilst his other was low around her, dragging her as close to him as possible. She whimpered as his tongue passed over her lips and the fingers in her hair tightened at the sound. 

Her hands were under his shirt, drifting around the expanse of his muscled back, her nails momentarily digging in as he caught her bottom lip with his teeth. Then his mouth left hers to trail down her neck, leaving open mouthed kisses as he went. The feel of his hot breath on hers made her sigh, “Zuko…” 

At the sound of his name he caught her mouth with his again, his left hand travelling down to grab her ass when there was a knock on the door.

Zuko pulled away from her, swearing. “I have a meeting.” 

He was breathless again, as he had been after their first kiss, his eyes hazy with lust. Molten pools of intoxicating gold. It made her want to drag him to bed, royal duties be damned, and never let him go.

Zuko took her face in his hands, shaking his head in disbelief. “There’s no way I’m going to be able to concentrate in that meeting.”

Katara smirked, wrapping around him again. “Guess you’ll just have stay.”

The look in his eyes was heavy and heat pooled deep within her. “You know I’d love nothing more,” he murmured, his thumb running across her mouth. He ducked his head to place a slow, hot kiss before finally mustering the energy to step away from her. “I’ll come find you after,” he promised.

“I’ll be waiting.” 

***

Katara couldn’t stay still. She was restless with giddy happiness. 

It was like a heavy fog had been lifted. For so long she had been unconscious of her own desires that it had dragged her into misery. But it was all so clear now. She had been terrified at first at the depth of her love for Zuko, but it was like he had said, it was simply a part of her now and there was something comforting in that. 

Had the sun always been this bright? Had the gardens always been this beautiful? Katara felt dizzy and overwhelmed. It was like emerging from a long and unexpected sleep. She had carefully crafted her worldview around being with Aang that she had numbed herself to it all. She thought ruefully of all the time she had wasted and promised herself that she wouldn’t let the rest go to waste.

The sun had begun to set by the time Zuko found her.

“There you are,” he said, scooping her up in his arms to kiss her. He might have intended for it to be a quick greeting but soon they were breathless again.

“Well that was a nice hello,” she murmured, drunk off of the happiness bubbling inside her.

He kissed her again. She felt as light as a cloud. “I have something to show you,” he told her softly. 

Taking her hand in his, he led her back into the palace and to a room she hadn’t been in before. When he pulled the door open, she gasped.

The room twinkled with candles and lanterns, and vases of a beautiful blue and purple flower had been placed around the room. In the middle was a table with two chairs with two dinner sets. A single flower placed on one of the plates.

He glanced at her. “It’s not too much, is it?” he asked nervously. 

“Zuko,” she breathed, “it’s beautiful.”

A smile blossomed across his face. “The flowers,” he explained, “they’re the ones I was going to name after you.”

Katara felt tears in her eyes. Her heart was singing.

***

By the summer, rumours of Zuko’s illness had been replaced by whispers that the Fire Lord had gone on vacation with the waterbending master, Katara, _alone_. These rumours gained a life of their own when they returned a month later engaged.

And if anyone had thought they were moving too fast, Katara would have told them, “When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

**Author's Note:**

> Katara's last line, of course, being a quote from When Harry Met Sally because duh. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this please let me know and get the word out by reblogging my tumblr post about it [here](https://daft-witch.tumblr.com/post/629629519142223872/shes-come-undone-daftwitch-avatar-the-last)


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